How to Prepare for Your First Family Lawyer Meeting: Key Tips and Questions

How to Prepare for Your First Meeting with a Family Lawyer

March 9, 2023

Are you holding off from finding a family lawyer because it feels like that will make things real, or maybe you’re afraid that speaking to a lawyer is the start of a legal battle?

It’s understandable the thought of finding and talking to a family lawyer may feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not familiar with the legal system or have never had to work with a lawyer before. 

Your first meeting with your family lawyer isn’t about “getting a lawyer involved” or “taking legal action” it’s about working with you to talk through your current situation, educating you on your legal rights and creating a plan for you that focuses on how you can best move forward.  You don’t even need to notify your ex that you’re talking to a family lawyer if you don’t want to – this session is about you! 

Now that you’ve decided to meet with a family lawyer…what do you need to prepare before the meeting? 

Firstly, we want to assure you that it’s natural to feel nervous, unsure, or even apprehensive about what to expect from your first meeting with your lawyer. You’re not alone, and we’re here to help you navigate this journey with confidence and clarity. 

Preparing for your first meeting with your lawyer is crucial, and there are a few things that you should consider before you arrive. One of the most important things to consider are your goals – what is it you want to achieve from your meeting?  

By identifying what you hope to achieve and what worries you, your lawyer can better guide you through the process. Here are some questions to consider: 

  •  What are you wanting to achieve from the process? 
  • What are your immediate and most important concerns that you want help to address? 
  • What questions do you want answered to help you to understand the process?  
  • What outcome are you hoping for? 

What do you need to be prepared to discuss? 

Our “Bespoke approach” to guiding our clients through the legal process and a mindful separation starts in our very first meeting with our clients, our strategic planning session.  

In this session, we’ll ask you to share your story about the relationship, your short and long-term goals, your needs, and your concerns. As part of learning about your situation, we’ll also want to understand the dynamics of your relationship with your Ex as this can assist us with mapping out a strategic plan to move you forward. Here are some questions you should consider and be prepared to answer: 

  •  What personality traits do you and your Ex have?  
  • How did you and your Ex deal with conflict during your relationship?  
  • How did you and your Ex make decisions during the relationship? 
  • What is important to your Ex that may impact the outcome of your situation? 

Some of these questions can feel hard to answer or can trigger some big emotions that you’re still trying to process and understand. That’s okay. We’ll go really slow and provide careful guidance to you throughout the conversation…plus, we’re really good at offering compassion, support and respect, no matter the situation. 

Knowing What You Need to Move Forward 

Once you have shared your story with us, we’ll explain the legal process, how the law applies to your situation and we’ll start exploring some of the following with you: 

  •  The details of the assets, liabilities and financial resources;  
  • Yours and your children’s financial needs; 
  • Answers to your questions and concerns; 
  • Educate you on how to approach conversations and situations with your ex as they come up; 
  • Guidance on how to make decisions about future parenting arrangements; 
  • Guidance on how to deal with the finances in the short, medium & long-term; 
  • An outline of the options available to you; and    
  • A detailed plan that helps you move forward to a resolution. 

It is a good idea to have a list of the assets, liabilities and financial resources and the details of yours and your Ex’s incomes available as this will be essential to discussing how to deal with the finances and assessing your options.  

The first meeting with Bespoke Family Lawyers as your family lawyer is not the start of taking legal action. It’s to give you clear guidance on your options. We want to put you in a position of being proactive where you can make thoughtful, careful and mindful decisions instead of you being put in a situation where you are reacting to what’s happening around you. 

When you leave talking to a family lawyer too late, then that’s when it gets messy…and that’s when some of the options start coming off the table because sometimes the horse has already bolted. The people who work with us when they are thinking about separation or are in the early stages of their separation, usually get the best outcomes as they are able to make intentional decisions and steps with our guidance towards their desired life and outcome.   

The goal of your family lawyer in this first meeting is to support you to feel empowered to make the best decisions for you, your children and your future.  

We encourage you to embrace the opportunity to seek legal advice so you’re ready to mindfully step into the next chapter in your life and all the amazing things that are coming your way! 

Our expert team of family lawyers would love to help you to recover, rebuild, and move forward. Book your free clarity call today or download our helpful free resources. 


This article is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or any other professional advice.

Feeling unsure where to start?

Let us guide you through what’s involved in untangling your relationship and give you the tools to set yourself up to move forward.

Feeling unsure where to start?

Let us guide you through what’s involved in untangling your relationship and give you the tools to set yourself up to move forward.

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