Transform Your Separation into a Positive: Tips for Personal Growth

March 1, 2023

Going through a divorce or separation is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through. It’s a lonely journey, and it seems like there are more things unknown than known. Your finances, parenting, and life are all up in the air, leaving you wondering where everything will land. It can be scary and overwhelming, and you may feel unsure about how you’re going to get through it.

But it’s possible to get back to a place where you can do life without the constant overwhelm and anxiety sitting with you, where you can be present in the moment, where you feel and celebrate joy. In this blog, we’ll explore how to get through your separation journey so you can create and live your best life going forward.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that you’re currently in the middle of a huge life transition, and there are a lot of big feelings and lots to process. While you adjust to the changes happening for you and your family, it’s easy to get stuck in your hurt, anger, despair and overwhelm. But my friend, you don’t live her. You don’t want to be stuck here. You have the capacity to take action. You are the architect of your life!

Before you can unstick yourself and jump off the roundabout, you firstly have to gain awareness about yourself…to rediscover your true self, to relearn how to love and nurture her and to uncover how you want to live going forward.

It’s crucial to do a 360-degree review of where you are now and where you want to get to before making any decisions that will impact how you engage in the legal process. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What do I need?
  • What do my kids need?
  • What does my Ex need?
  • How can I parent with my Ex?
  • How do I want to feel?
  • What life do I want to create?
  • What actions do I need to take to build that life?
  • How do I fund that life?
  • How am I going to show up?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg and are aimed at getting you to start seeing life through a lens where you can choose what you do…how you live, how you show up and what actions you take.

Tips for making your separation an opportunity for growth

If you want to use your separation and divorce as an opportunity to transform your life, then here are some tips for making your separation an opportunity for growth:

  • Find Support

Going through a divorce or separation can feel very isolating. It’s important to find a support system, whether it’s friends, family, or a professional therapist. A support system can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster and provide a sounding board for the many decisions you’ll have to make along the way.

  • Focus on Your Self-Care

Self-care is critical during this time. You might feel like you don’t have the time or energy to focus on yourself, but it’s essential. Taking care of yourself means taking care of your mental and physical health. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and make time for activities that bring you joy.

  • Change old patterns

It’s easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns during a separation. The trick is learning to catch the patterns, beliefs and thoughts that no longer serve you when they show up and learning how to understand them. Get curious about the feeling or experience sitting underneath those patterns. As you become more aware, you can change the narrative and its impact.

  • Create a Plan

Creating a plan can help you feel more in control of your life. Think about what you want your future to look like and create a plan to get there. This might involve financial planning, career goals, or even personal development goals.

  • Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is critical during a separation and as you learn how to co-parent. It’s essential to communicate with your Ex and your children, but to do it productively, you’ll need to learn how to communicate without the baggage, emotions and reactivity that can fuel conflict.

  • Practice Gratitude

It’s easy to fall into thinking that you’re not good enough, that you’ll never find love again, or that your life is ruined. These thoughts can be destructive and hold you back from moving forward. Instead, focus on gratitude. Replace negative self-talk with kind, uplifting messages. Remind yourself of your strengths, the lessons you’ve learned and the things you’re grateful for.

  • Take care of yourself

Self-care is important during a separation. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. Get enough sleep, eat healthy food, and exercise regularly. Do things that make you happy, whether it’s reading a book, taking a bath, or spending time with friends.

It’s also important to seek support from a therapist or counsellor, who can help you process your feelings and provide coping strategies for dealing with the challenges of separation.

  • Embrace the opportunity for growth

While separation is difficult, it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Use this time to reflect on what you want out of life, what makes you happy, and what kind of person you want to be. Set goals for yourself and take steps to achieve them.

You may also discover new interests and passions during this time. Pursue these with enthusiasm and see where they take you.

Finally, remember that you’re not alone. It is possible to go through separation and come out the other side stronger, happier, and more connected to your true self.

We encourage you to embrace the opportunity for growth so you’re ready for the next chapter in your life and all the amazing things that are coming your way!

Our expert team of family lawyers would love to help you to recover, rebuild, and move forward. Book your free clarity call today or download our helpful free resources.


This article is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or any other professional advice.

Feeling unsure where to start?

Let us guide you through what’s involved in untangling your relationship and give you the tools to set yourself up to move forward.

Feeling unsure where to start?

Let us guide you through what’s involved in untangling your relationship and give you the tools to set yourself up to move forward.

This is default text for notification bar