Guide to writing your personal manifesto

Even on the tough days, when you’re going through a separation or divorce process, how you handle yourself matters.

There are going to be days when the many things that make up the process of separation (adulting, healing and co-parenting, to name a few) will feel like they’re in the too hard basket.

That’s why we recommend writing a personal manifesto to guide you when you need to be reminded of how you want to show up and how to reframe unhelpful or negative thoughts when they show up. 

This personal manifesto will guide you on how to conduct yourself during your separation. It will be your sanctuary on the days when you’re feeling disconnected, overwhelmed or vulnerable.

So, how do you write a personal manifesto for yourself? Grab a piece of paper and a pen and start by answering the following questions:

1. How do you want to remember yourself five years from now, when you look back at what you were like during your divorce?

2. What do you love about your bond with your children? What kind of relationship do you want to have with your children in one year, five years or 10 years from now?

3. What positive qualities do you think a good parent should have? If there are qualities you don’t think you possess yet, write down why you think you don’t possess them and how you can work on them.

4. What are you currently feeling towards your Ex? What is causing you the most offence or the greatest level of anger, pain or hurt?

5. Describe the ideal way you’d like to handle your hurt, disappointment and resentment.

6. What are 5 things you once treasured about your Ex? (traits, memories, moments, etc)

7. What are 5 ways your children benefit from having a relationship with your Ex, their other parent?

8. What do you need in your life before you can believe your life is “good, beautiful or joy-filled”?
   Think about whether your Ex is keeping you from creating this “good, beautiful or joy-filled” life. Think about whether you’re giving power to your Ex that you can reclaim by becoming the master of your own destiny.

9. What are some other ways you could be giving away your power?

10. How can you reframe your fears, negative thoughts, reactions, limiting beliefs or the stories you tell yourself?

11. How will you keep yourself motivated and acknowledge your progress?

12. How will you deal with setbacks?

Now, let’s bring it all together. Try to condense all of these thoughts and visions for yourself into a few paragraphs or half a page. 

Be patient. It may take two to three drafts before you land on something that sits well with you.

Rebuilding your life isn’t easy.  Actually, it’s bloody hard and sometimes, it will feel impossible. But with a little self-awareness and by taking the time to explore your emotions and desires, you CAN transform yourself and your life in ways you probably can’t imagine right now. 

Our friendly team of expert family lawyers would love to help you to recover, rebuild, and move forward. Book your free clarity call today or download some of our helpful free resources.

You might also like to read:

• 5 Steps to Healing After Your Separation
• Why Self-Reflection and Mindset Matter in a Family Law Resolution
• Recognising the Realities of Grief and Loss in Divorce and Separation

***Disclaimer***

This article is for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or any other professional advice.